Street Corner Wisdom: A Chat with Don Ward, New York City’s “Shoeshine Dude”

“You do this long enough, you really learn to read people.”...Don Ward

It’s Wednesday evening and we are wandering around Times Square in NYC looking for the Ed Sullivan Theater so we can bask in the illusion of close proximity to David Letterman.

We are back east for my 35^th high school reunion, which will be held in the suburban county I lived in when I was a teenager. My husband, who likes getting his shoes shined whenever we are at the airport, is a little frustrated. We had anticipated a lengthy layover at DFW, where he planned to get his traditional airport ritual shoeshine. Fortunately for us, American Airlines was able to put us on an earlier flight to Laguardia. Unfortunately for his shoes, this obstructed his plans for that DFW shoeshine.

Our early arrival allowed us to head into Manhattan for some sightseeing and dinner. We decide to seek out the Ed Sullivan Theater to see if the “Hello Deli”, which has featured prominently on the Letterman show, might be open for dinner. So long as we have TV shows on the brain, we stroll in the direction of 30 Rock. Lo and behold, on a nearby corner, there is a cheerful fellow briskly shining the shoes of a contented gentleman comfortably perched in the chair of a bright blue shoeshine stand.

As my husband takes his turn in the “hot seat”, the shoeshiner applies himself to the task at hand and we begin to chat. It turns out we are both NYC natives, although he is from Brooklyn while I am originally from the Bronx. He tells us his name is Don Ward. He has been shining shoes for over 20 years, after trying his hand at several other professions, which he found did not suit him. The intersection of 47^th street and 6^th Avenue is “his corner.” His broad smile is infectious and his jokester gregariousness is captivating. And he is full of wonderful stories. In fact, he is such a gifted raconteur that it is an unbridled pleasure to simply listen to him talk. Eventually, I mention that I am a psychologist and he perks up significantly beyond his usual perky baseline. He speaks eloquently and soulfully of what he’s gleaned from his years of experience meeting people, shining their shoes and keenly observing the action as pedestrians traverse “his corner”.  In fact, he proudly flourishes a magazine article written about him, which prompts me to listen even more carefully to what he has to say.

As a psychologist, listening to and understanding people is what I do. As a shoe shiner, listening to and understanding people augments Mr. Ward’s obvious pleasure in a shoe well shined, a job well done and the creation of yet another happy customer.  Mr. Ward, it turns out, is far more than a shoe shining professional; he is a silver-tongued shoe shining philosopher and a very interesting one to boot (get the pun?). His good-natured acceptance of the value of hard work, his well-honed commitment to personal excellence and his earnest respect for looking polished and taking good care of yourself have provided him with a treasure trove of wisdom, which he is delighted to share with all comers. He has uncannily accurate intuition about what a person is really like based on only a brief snippet of observation. Over time, he has cultivated an astute understanding of what makes a good person good. With humble eloquence, he shares fascinating stories and observations to illustrate his insights. Mr. Ward exudes good cheer, confidence and humanism. His life has clearly not been easy, but he firmly believes it has been unequivocally good. His 48 years rest lightly on his shoulders, as he looks much younger than his stated age. He has pulled himself up by his own bootstraps (forgive me for yet another pun). His shoeshine business has a devoted clientele whose loyalty is likely based on his sparkling personality as much as on the sparkling footwear he bequeaths to his customers. In fact, in one of his most inspiring stories, he tells of coming to work one day and finding his shoeshine stand had vanished during the night. In his own words, “When you work outside on a corner in New York City, you know that eventually, this is going to happen to you. So you don’t get upset, you simply rebuild.” With a little help from his friends he was back in business in no time. “Besides,” he points out, “I really like the blue stand, my previous one was brown and this one is much nicer looking.” Wow. Isn’t that a brilliant example of making a silk purse out of a sow’s ear?

When your toes no longer twinkle, your spats have lost their spiff, your soul is weary and you need happy feet, you have many options. Psychotherapy is one possibility. A chance encounter with a street corner sage can be another. If you find yourself in Manhattan needing a smile and glossy footwear, remember to stop by Don Ward’s corner for the best shoeshine of your life, with a little wisdom and good cheer thrown in for no extra charge. You will come away well heeled in more ways than you probably anticipated.  Don’t be surprised to find a grin on your face and a spring in your step that has little to do with shiny shoes. That is the magic of Don Ward, “The shoeshine dude” and streetcorner philosopher of 47^th and 6^th streets, NYC.

For a Youtube glimpse of the charming Don Ward, click on the link below:

Don Ward, Shoe Shiner Extraordinaire

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On Therapy Pets

On one of my clinical psychology practice list serves, the question came up about whether any members used therapy pets in their private practices. One specific issue raised in the post was how to be sensitive to clients with animal allergies if you kept a pet in your office, which is, of course, a very legitimate concern.  I used to have a therapy pet in my office in San Antonio.  It was a Chinchilla named "Neo".  Chinchillas are pretty hypoallergenic so the issue of allergies wasn't especially relevant.  Plus, he lived in a cute cage shaped like a little house and we would only take him out when clients wanted to hold or pet him.  He was a great incentive for my teen aged clients to participate because getting to play with Neo became a great positive reinforcer.  However he was really messy so I ultimately found him a new home because cleaning up after him just became too time consuming.  I had a brightly colored little crate I carried him from home to office in.  He was well known at the supermarket and OfficeMax because I couldn't leave him in the car when I ran errands on my way home from work.  I'd put his crate in the seat of the shopping cart and we would run my errands together. 

In San Antonio, I had several clients who really liked bringing their dogs with them to therapy sessions.  Of course, this could potentially have been an issue for other clients coming in with dog allergies but this never came up.  Now that I live in Colorado, people seem to bring their dogs everywhere.  Even the bank has dog biscuits on the counter instead of lollipops for the people!  Every restaurant has a water bowl outside for the dogs who wait patiently for their owners while they eat.

For the first time in my career, I have a home based practice.  While my office is at the front of my home, it is still in my home.  I have a medium sized westie-poodle mix and two cats.  The cats hide under the bed when clients are here so they are obviously not willing to be therapy pets of any kind.  I was initially putting my dog in the mud room when clients came so they wouldn't be bothered.  Believe it or not, this really bothered my clients!  Every one of them wanted to meet my dog and didn't want my dog locked up on their account.  Now, my dog comes and greets them while they are waiting to see me.  She has become my pseudo-receptionist!  

I keep the dog out of my therapy office so she is not a distraction but if a client (particularly a teen) wanted her there, I would allow her in.  So far, I haven't raised the allergy issue with new clients although I do tell them that my office is in my home before they schedule their first appointment.  So far, everyone seems to assume that I have a dog.  Many of them come with their dogs and leave them in the car in the shade with the windows open while we meet.  Occasionally their dog goes out in the yard to play with my dog.  Of course, this will probably change when it gets colder and snows.

I think this is all really ironic because I am a cat person and I can't quite believe I even have a dog.  I never expected her to be a business asset.  

When a new client brings up the allergy issue, I will offer them online psychotherapy instead.  A highly respected psychologist named Ken Pope, PhD, with whom I am acquainted, keeps therapy cats in his office.  When a potential client has a cat allergy he offers to see them in their home.  The Vail Valley is too spread out for me to offer that routinely but I would consider it as an option as well.

BTW, this all started with a fish tank.  I set up a pretty tank in my first private practice office because it was soothing.  However, I am really bad at keeping fish alive.  One day a particularly difficult 11 year old came in and in a hostile tone of voice said "your fish is dead."  I had just fed the fish a few minutes earlier and before I could stop myself I fired back "No he's not!"  But he was.  Then the kid said "You are traumatizing me with your dead fish."  And then we both cracked up.  I didn't replace the fish and I gave away the tank.  And then I got Neo the chinchilla (see first paragraph).

drjsquyres@mac.com

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Text copyright 2012 by Jill Squyres, PhD.  All Rights Reserved

Bibliotherapy and Beyond: A Tribute to Genius

The latest business advice for psychologists encourages us to cultivate a niche of expertise.  A niche will allow your practice to stand out amidst the clutter of treatment options and help potential clients decide whether you are likely to be the psychotherapist best suited for their needs.  My practice niche is helping gifted people cope and thrive in the face of their uniquely rarified universe of talents, challenges and stressors. To further this aim, I love to read biographies of exceptional people who have achieved the outstanding kind of greatness and impact on society that can come from being driven, creative, and intellectually gifted.

Steve Jobs, who passed away October 10, is one such genius. If you would like to better understand what makes people like Steve Jobs tick, you should read Walter Isaacson’s new book “Steve Jobs”.  It can be difficult for most people to fathom the way brilliant, opinionated, persistent, irreverent, visionary people actually think.  You can enjoy a front row seat to the mystery and wonder of an amazing mind when you read this biography.  A compelling biography about the “other” Steve, at Apple, Steve Wozniak, is called “iWoz: How I Invented the Personal Computer and Had Fun Along the Way” by Patrick Lawlor.  While Jobs was moody, charismatic, grandiose and ambitious, Woz, is a sweet, shy, solitary dreamer with an admittedly high level of social awkwardness.  While I don’t diagnose people I’ve never met, he comes across as a classic presentation of high functioning Asperger’s Syndrome.  His autobiography is both touching and inspiring.  Both Apple creator biographies stand well on their own but they convey an interesting synergy when read in tandem.  They chronicle an exciting time in the history of technology and provide an answer to the age-old question, “If things are the way they are because they got that way, how DID they get that way?”…At least with regard to Apple computers, anyway!

The author who wrote “Steve Jobs” also wrote a biography of Albert Einstein (entitled Einstein: His Life and Universe) published in 2007.  Isaacson is particularly skilled at making the minute details of life lyrical and informative.  He integrates great chunks of history into his books and strives to help the reader understand the “theory of mind” of his famous subjects.  He debunks many of the popular myths about Einstein, such as the absurd idea that Einstein failed math in elementary school, which he did not.  As a psychologist, it is especially interesting to understand how visionary men like Einstein, Wozniak and Jobs integrate their exceptional giftedness with the other relatively mundane but meaningful priorities in their lives such as family, relationships, home-life, travel, values and inspirations. 

“A Madman Dreams of Turing Machines”, by Janna Levin, is about Kurt Godel and Alan Turing.  Godel was a mathematician / philosopher who gloried in the café culture of 1930’s Vienna.  Turing was a mathematician / logician / computer scientist who is best known for mechanical decision theory and the Turing Test, which is still the standard by which the quality of artificial intelligence is gauged.  The book is an intriguing foray into the lives of two brilliant but troubled men whose lives had striking similarities and common influences, although they never actually met.  The author’s deft use of alternating chapters about each of her subjects makes for some very engrossing reading.

“End Game: Bobby Fischer’s Remarkable Rise and Fall from America’s Brightest Prodigy to the Edge Of Madness”, by Frank Brady, chronicles the troubled life of chess champion Bobby Fisher, another genius with qualities characteristic of Asperger’s syndrome.  Fischer’s IQ was measured at 181 and his odd, demanding and difficult nature was legendary.  He died in 2008, consumed by feelings of bitterness and alienation.

In my opinion, the most heart-rending biography of genius is “A Beautiful Mind” by Sylvia Nasar about the eccentric Nobel-prize winning Princeton economist John Nash.  While the eponymous movie is fascinating, the book is even better.  It explores the details of Nash’s descent into paranoia and psychosis with a gentleness and wisdom that provides thoughtful insight into the inner experience of schizophrenia.  This remarkable book is a particularly engaging read for mental health professionals wishing to develop a deeper understanding of this terrible illness. 

The poignant struggle that comes with compelling genius seems to separate a person from the rest of his world.  Ultimately, what we call genius appears to be the natural ability to comprehend universal truths and see things in a way that no one else generally does.  This can make for a very turbulent and lonely existence. The isolation, frustration and compulsive drive that characterize the subjects of these biographies shows how giftedness can be a double-edged sword.  Sadly, their greatest challenge may be growing old without becoming paranoid, alienated, delusional or embittered.  It’s always illuminating to really know the actual person behind a legend.  These biographies bring these legendary scientists and inventers alive in a way that will forever change how you perceive the costs and benefits of genius.  Hopefully, reading about their lives will make you further appreciate the price they paid to make the unique contributions that have so enriched our lives.  The insights gleaned can also compassionately inform our work with individuals on the gifted spectrum.

Until next time, happy reading!