Preventing Suicide in Eagle County

Living in a place as magnificent as the Vail Valley brings many wonderful things to our lives, however, it does not protect us from the tragedy of suicide. On December 25th 2014, Scotty Lamothe, the brother of local realtor and SpeakUp ReachOut Board Member Corey Lamothe, committed suicide after a 14-year struggle with depression, addiction and suicidal thoughts. On September 12th we will remember Scotty and many others who have been lost to suicide at the SpeakUp ReachOut Community Walk and Heartbeat Memorial Balloon Launch in Eagle and the First Annual Scotty Lamothe Memorial Golf Tournament in Vail. 

According to the most recent statistics available, Colorado ranks seventh in the nation for completed suicides and Eagle County has one of the highest rates of suicide in the state of Colorado. While we don’t have the data to explain exactly why these elevated rates of self-harm occur here, we do know that the group at highest risk for suicide is white men between the ages of 25 and 54, a demographic well represented here in our mountain community. Other risk factors include unemployment, which can be a significant problem in our area where good jobs can be hard to find and are often seasonal, relationship loss, financial problems, depression or other mental illnesses, substance abuse, owning a gun, aggressive or impulsive tendencies, lack of access to mental health resources and perceived stigma about talking about suicide or reaching out for help.  While many people, establish permanent homes in the Vail Valley and become involved and connected members of our community, others may be at risk due to the isolation and lack of social support that can come from second home ownership, transience, and being distant from family and lifelong friends.

SpeakUp ReachOut was founded in 2009 to provide suicide prevention education and resources for Eagle County. We meet at the Avon Municipal building on the third Thursday of every month at 4pm. If you’re interested in getting involved, you are welcome to join us. Find out more by checking out our website, www.speakupreachout.org.

It is unsettling to realize that most suicidal individuals do not actually want to die. They just want to end their pain and they feel they have run out of options. The good news is that suicidal crises tend to be short-lived and that suicidal intent or risk can be detected early and lives can be saved. When suicidal people survive an attempt, they are usually relieved and grateful for their rescue. Services available in our community for the assessment and treatment of suicidal behaviors and their underlying causes include private practice psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, and psychotherapists, as well as school counselors and clinics. Mental heath services are covered by health insurance and some practitioners and clinics provide sliding scale fees based on ability to pay. If you would like help but aren’t sure where to begin, talking to your physician is a good first stop. If you or someone you care about is in immediate danger, call 911, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline, 1-800-273-TALK or Colorado Crisis Services at 1-844-493-TALK.

Sadly, talking about suicide still carries a stigma. People used to avoid talking about other serious health problems, like cancer, and this veil of secrecy only compounded the suffering of affected individuals and their families. Open dialog leads to solutions, support and constructive conversations. It’s time for open dialog about this serious, preventable, public health crisis. Talking about suicide will not encourage people to consider suicide. Instead, it can save their lives.

This week is National Suicide Prevention Week. This year’s theme is “Preventing Suicide: Reaching Out and Saving Lives.” Please join your friends, colleagues, neighbors and SpeakUp ReachOut in drawing attention to suicide prevention and reducing the number of lives shaken by needless, tragic and preventable deaths. You can make a difference. Come walk with us on September 12 as we remember, reflect and revitalize hope. You can register online or just come by the Dusty Boot at 8:30 am to register onsite.

If you or someone you care about is in immediate danger, call 911, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline, 1-800-273-TALK

Jill Squyres, PhD is a clinical psychologist in private practice in Eagle. She is also on the Board of SpeakUp ReachOut. She can be reached at 970-306-6986 or drjsquyres@mac.com

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Good-bye Dear Mork: Reflections on the Tragic Suicide of Robin Williams

While it’s always hard to hear about someone taking his own life, it is especially hard to learn that someone who brought us as much laughter, joy and poignancy as Robin Williams did was in enough pain to decide suicide was the only answer. Robin Williams was a brilliant comic and gifted actor. I think his genius came from an overwhelming empathy for others paired with a lightening fast wit. His active mind nimbly skipped from one idea to the next, making creative leaps no one else could fathom until he articulated them.  He recognized both the glorious connectivity and essential aloneness in the basic human condition.  I think the pain and beauty of this understanding is what eventually broke his heart.  He tried to medicate the pain away with alcohol. It appears he won the battle but lost the war. After a long period of productive sobriety, eventually addiction once again reared its ugly head. This time, apparently it triumphed to the detriment of us all.

I “sorta kinda” met Robin Williams once. It was during his Mork and Mindy days. I had recently moved to Los Angeles for graduate school and was disappointed that I hadn’t yet crossed paths with a single celebrity. I flew back to NY to see my family. Upon my return I was waiting at the baggage claim at LAX when I saw him. There was no question in my mind that it was Robin Williams. He was wearing Mork’s signature baggy white carpenter pants, a striped shirt and rainbow suspenders. He was off by himself, almost as if standing in his own private bubble. My first inclination was to dash over, give him an exuberant hug and ask for his autograph. But I could tell he would not welcome this minor explosion of enthusiasm on my part so I refrained. I watched him out of the corner of my eye. I felt like I was missing my big chance for my first celebrity encounter. But I felt too much respect for his obvious desire for privacy so I did nothing.

Whenever I watched him in his movie roles or doing stand-up, I always contrasted the quick humor and glib confidence with the uncomfortable young man I observed at LAX. I’ve seen the pain behind the humor in many of those who make us laugh. The frantic cheery manic mask they cultivate often covers an essential awkwardness, a social discomfort and myriad fears that others will judge them and find them wanting. If you aren’t sure what to do, just make people laugh, right? Everyone will like you and want you around and your worries will be allayed, at least for the time being. Throw in a little alcohol and drugs and the fears are numbed away, until you sober up. Then, after the temporary reprieve, the toxic internal voices resume the incessant mutter of their dangerous damaging messages. And there’s nowhere to hide until the next drink, hit or comic performance begins the cycle anew.

My heart goes out to Robin Williams and all who loved him. I don’t presume to imagine the personal hell he must have been going through. But in taking his own life, he has just transferred his pain onto those he leaves behind.  Had he been thinking clearly, I don’t think he ever would have made such a choice. Suicidality is characterized by tunnel vision that convinces you everything is hopeless. This clouded judgment persuades those afflicted that the only way to end their pain is to end their lives. Suicidal people feel like the only solution is death and that’s simply why they do it. Those who have survived a suicide attempt usually express gratitude. The tunnel vision has often been moderated by the aftermath of the attempt and they appreciate their second chance at life.

Dear Mork, thank you for the gift of laughter. I deeply regret that it came at the expense of your own heart. I am so sorry we were unable to repay the debt you were due and help you see you could still choose life at this darkest of times. To everyone touched in any way by this tragic death, please remember that suicide is never the answer. When things get bleak and hopeless, ask for help. There is something worth living for, you've just lost sight of it. If you are feeling suicidal remember you can call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. There is always someone who can help.

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